Monday, 5 March 2012

"No Rum .... No Fun"

Or so I was told by the crew member who doubled-up as barman on our catamaran trip.   I discovered that it's no use asking for a  non-alcoholic drink - the Bajan's don't have a way of removing the rum from a fruit punch!   Anyway, I'm sure a strawberry daiquiri is purely fruit, ahem...

Another thing I learnt during our week away in Barbados was how you really tell the sheep from the goats.   A lot of animals on that island are masquerading as goats, but turns out they are black-bellied sheep, which don't need shearing.   This information was one of the gems imparted by Hettie, our bus driver on the journey to Bridgetown to meet the catamaran.   Incidentally - what you need to know is that goats' tails stick up and sheep's tails hang down.   Who knew?  

Hettie could point out where Sir Cliff's mansion was, where Cilla had her condo, how to tell a 'reggae' bus from a local authority bus, and why every driver toots his horn all the time.  Apparently you must toot when about to overtake, during overtaking, if someone looks as if they might step into the road, if someone has already stepped into the road, if you see someone you know in the distance, or driving an on-coming vehicle, well, just about for anything really.   Somehow the tooting always seems really good-natured though, not the road-rage blast on the horn we're used to in UK.  Hettie generously loaned her bus microphone to the lovely Emma who led us all in rum-fuelled community singing on the way home.   Goodness knows what possessed me to launch into 'Donald Where's yer Troosers' .....

So, snorkelling.     The kit for this was freely available at our hotel, and, having done a stint of snorkelling about half a century ago, I felt fully qualified to give it another bash.   But, oh, you've never seen such a carry-on, me trying to get my flippers on in some quite strongly-crashing waves without losing my mask and snorkel.   Inevitable outcome was that I was flung onto the beach from the shallows, dragged back out to sea in the undertow and my right knee ligaments, which are prone to such, locked out and I could neither straighten my leg nor stand on it.   While I was floundering in the surf trying to formulate a workable three-point plan for not drowning, a big wave came and knocked my knee back into place.   I sheepishly (or was it 'goatishly', no definitely 'sheepishly', as I had my tail between my legs) returned my equipment to the beach store.   Isn't it amazing how a well-honed skill can desert you in the space of only 50 years?   

I was reminded, too, that gentle flattery can also make your knees a little weak, leading to another humbling tumble.   One of our wedding party was a handsome young man from Portugal, who, with a  perplexing generosity of spirit (rum, probably) whispered that he thought I was most elegant and regal and, indeed, beautiful.   Now, while this did make me uncomfortably self-conscious for a couple of days, I gratefully relinquished any pretentions when I was told that he also adored the Queen Mother and has a portrait of her above his bed.  

me being regal

Sorry about the view up one's regally-flaring nostrils - I was obviously experiencing a little ennui while the official wedding photos were being taken - but at least you're spared the double chins!!

Have a good week!

Chrissie



9 comments:

Gina said...

Hilarious post your majesty! Sounds like you had lots of fun... and by the way, a stawberry daiquiri is one of your five a day

Toffeeapple said...

Oh, what larks! You obviously had a marvellous time your Maj...

Anonymous said...

Oh Chrissie - you do make me laugh! The pictures you conquer up are sooooo amusing. Sorry the snorkelling didn't quite work out but thank you so much for sharing the story with us. I agree ...... very regal nostrils!
Anne XX

Joanna said...

Very funny post - and I was laughing without having had a rum punch!

Your snorkelling episode had me in stitches ;D

x
ps cork trick very useful for tense situations.

Menopausalmusing said...

Hilarious! Loved it! Perhaps that Portuguese chap could rent himself out...........?

Jenny said...

I'm just catching up, didn't realise you'd been away. It certainly sounds like you had fun, hope it's not too cold back home.

Uta said...

So you are living it up in Barbados while giving me cheek about getting up earlier hehehehe, love your style!!!

Shirl said...

Sounds like you had a lovely time ... :0)

narkeymarkey said...

very regal pose dahling!

i think i'll adopt 'no rum, no fun' as my personal motto!

sounds like a fabulous trip - lovely sunny photos :)

and i think that fruit punch definitely counts towards your five-a-day! :)x